| HOW FAR YOU TOTIN THAT WARSH??? |
[Mar. 8th, 2006|12:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Thanatopsis - Anatomize | ] |
I just got back from court. I always think I'm not going to be dressed up enough when I'm going to these things if I wear like a polo, some khakis and a nice pair of shoes until I get there and everyone is dressed like ronald mcdonald. I guess that's just how these dirt farmers and drug abusers roll.
When you go to county court here there's a waiting room outside and its full of like drunk drivers (me) and then people who are insane and constantly in trouble with the law, but the system has given up on them or something and they never get any help. The guy sitting next to me looked exactly like Nick Nolte in that mugshot, and he talked exactly like Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade. He couldn't stop scratching his psoriasis in between episodes of unabashedly grunting out the details of why he was there among other incoherant bellows and moans to this poor kid sitting on the other side of him. I kept my head averted from the chaotic behavior this man was displaying aside from a few glances in his general direction that I could get away with while avoiding eye contact. I guess I'm weak like that, in the same way the system is, and I'd rather ignore what real life is like when its that ugly.
I kept wanting to go out and smoke, but since I've quit I didn't. I was really just wanting to investigate the route this strangely dressed woman was taking in her laps around the courthouse without looking suspicous. I think she was Nick Nolte's wife, but I'm not sure. She looked like that zombie in the remake of Dawn of the Dead. The one they bring into the mall in a wheel barrow. Like that lady but Samoan. She kept entering one side of the room and exiting the other. Now to be making circular laps she either had to go outside or take some strange route through the interior of the building. I was very curious about this, and also why she was wearing bright red maternity pants, a dirty yellow shirt, and why she had such bad posture.
I was surprised by the lack of racial minorities there. Maybe they've all bun run out of town since I've become such a recluse. There was one there. A kind looking Mexican kid named Santiago. His lawyer was a large white woman that kept trying to explain to him the concept of a trashcan for whatever reason, and he just wasn't getting it. So she walks him into this room with some county official. The snaggle-toothed man in his 50's is shouting at this kid, "ILLEGAL DUMPING IS ILLEGAL! YOU CANNOT DUMP YOUR HOUSEHOLD TRASH ALONG SIDE THE HIGHWAY!" I kinda stopped paying attention to that and spaced off for a bit because it was depressing me. I did overhear more of the man's yelling later. "Where did you see me in my big red pick up truck?" Then he described a few street names where he usually drives. This particular exchange confused the shit out of me, but I was less depressed to hear the conversation had shifted from obnoxious shouting to self important information about a big red pick up truck.
Chad Ishmael...CHAD ISHMAEL...CHAD ISHMAEL???. I kept hearing that exact same thing repeated for about every fifth person called in to court. I wanted to run away with the likes of Chad Ishmael. Just disappear and leave everything behind like I had imagined he was doing, but in reality he was probably still in town, maybe on drugs, maybe just defiantly sitting at home in his underwear waiting for the police to come to his door, or maybe he simply forgot. I don't think people run away enough. The world is huge. One of these days I'm gonna run away. |
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| First update worthy news in months |
[Jan. 30th, 2006|11:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  devious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | David Byrne - Civilization | ] |
My orange Les Claypool shirt has developed a hole in the armpit. It has now become a special occasion shirt to avoid any unnecessary wear and tear. |
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| SHAMADANATIOOOOON |
[May. 13th, 2005|07:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  quixotic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | So the widow Stanfield marries her step son | ] |
I skipped work today because I made more money playing everquest last night than I would've at work today. Someone remind me why I even went back to this shitty weedeating job. On a lighter note www.stumbleupon.com is the shit. Also the new Snoop Dogg and Justin Timberlake song is off the chizain. |
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| work is gay. just admit it is. |
[May. 12th, 2005|06:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  irritated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Local H - Bag of Hammers | ] |
So I started my elite military asswaxing job again, and by asswaxing I mean groundskeeping. I forgot just how much I hated it during the months I had off in the winter. The good news is I can sleep in or just not show up at all because apathy reigns supreme in this thing I call life. |
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| jesus built my hotrod |
[May. 7th, 2005|04:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Big Dumb Face - Space Adventure | ] |
I haven't smoke a cigarette in 3 days. I'm so uncool for it. I don't know why I haven't either. Oh wait, I haven't left the house, that's exactly why. In further news I masturbated once yesterday and once again today. More shocking news to come. |
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| Ridin my shoop mau |
[May. 5th, 2005|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  morose | ] |
| [ | music |
| | N fucking A faggots | ] |
Hi! I know the one person who ever reads this has been waiting for an update for quite some time, so here it is!!!
I let a girl borrow my car. She wrecked it. This means she's a faggot and can die. I'm moving to Thailand soon to become a buddhist monk. That means I need to call you all faggots and masturbate furiously as much as I can because they don't allow that sort of thing there. |
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| }-{ello my future girlfriend |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|06:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
Yesterday was my birthday. I tripped on dex like holy cow. It wasn't as good as the trip new years day because we didn't have a fog machine or a strobe light, but it was still a lot of fun.
Christy invited me to her house last night while she was super drunk. (Christy is the one who violently assaulted me for caring about her making out with a dude in front of me) I think if I had gone to her house we would've had sex and she would've woken up and been like, "what the fuck, why are you here, and why can't I walk?"
I saw another of my ex's the other day and the sparks were flying...we're getting together tuesday for some much needed clamhammering.
I made this update just for you Summer, since you bitched. |
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| run faster you donkeylips lookin' motherfucker |
[Oct. 9th, 2004|09:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Faint - Dropkick the Punks | ] |
Yo, bitches and hoes. It's Saturday and I totally skipped work because I felt like shit and I was going to be two hours late anyway because I slept in the bathroom floor. My day was boring as shit, except when April came to see me because she's the only girl that talks to me in the real world. It rocked ass. I totally didn't expect it and even though I've only been hanging out with her for a few weeks I wasn't made extremely uncomfortable by her seeing me all dirty and in my pajamas.
Speaking of the fairer sex...I was totally going to call up some ladies and go out and do something with them today, but then I realized that when they got in my car they would be less than charmed by the dead animal smell. Also the date would probably end when they realized my idea of "doing something" was parking the car somewhere secluded and having sex in the back seat on top of jumper cables. I felt like total shit and could not stop coughing all day too, but I think the first two things were more of a hindrance to my date plans than anything else.
Well, since nobody will read this, I'm gonna stop typing. You have almost 20 years to catch up on in my life though, so keep your cocksuckers shut and your eyes on the prize and read my shit and post comments, fags. |
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